Don't Waste Your Singleness

A few years ago, John Piper wrote a book called Don't Waste Your Life. I've not read that book (though I've been told it was good), but the title's had me thinking recently.

I know a lot of you are young single people. I also know that many of you may not really like being single. Sure, you say you like it, but really, deep down inside, you want more. That's not a bad thing; God created us to want to be with someone. Adam was lonely in the perfect Garden of Eden. Don't think that this desire, in and of itself, is somehow sinful.

However, I've noticed that for a lot of teens and even adults, this desire becomes a more or less consuming passion. At that point, we have a serious problem. We fall in love with the idea of a relationship, which leads us down a dangerous road. We become so enamored with the thought of being with someone that all else seems to fade in comparison. He drinks to the point of drunkenness sometimes? Well, I can change him. She could singe the ears off a sailor with that language? Oh, it could be worse. We're in love, love covers all, nothing else matters.

I'm sorry, but that just doesn't cut it. Love doesn't work that way. Love suffers long, and is kind; it does not envy or boast and it's not proud or rude or self-seeking. It doesn't insist on its own way and it never holds a grudge or becomes irritable. It bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things and it never fails. (I Cor. 13:4-8a, paraphrased slightly)

Yes, I left something out. Love does not rejoice in sin, but rejoices in the truth. How can we rejoice in loving someone if they're snared in a lot of nasty sin? It just doesn't work. Yes, love is a feeling, but at a point it's also a rational choice. We have to be able to love someone more than just feeling an emotion about them. We have to be able to make the choice to take the high road and love them enough to just be their brother or sister. Sometimes a relationship is based on the idea of a relationship, which makes things unhealthy on both sides.

It's hard, I know. I'm human (and single), so I realize how difficult this is.

But how freeing! Brothers and sisters, don't waste your singleness. When you're single, you're comparatively very free. You don't have to please a boyfriend or girlfriend or fiance or what have you. You don't have to worry about any of that (though, as I've said, it's designed by God and is not a bad thing). You are free to serve God in any capacity.

I know a lot of you are still under the authority of your parents, so you're not 100% free to pack everything up and head off to Botswana or something (unless,of course, your parents decide to do that). You're still comparatively very free, though. Think about it for a minute. A relationship demands that you please the other person. If you're in a relationship and you're under your parents' authority, that's a lot of people to please. That shouldn't be your only motive, of course, but still, it's a pretty big factor in a lot of decisions. We're supposed to please our parents while we're under their authority because they were placed in authority by God. Add a relationship based on love of the idea of a relationship and not of the other person, and you have a big mess.

Again, a relationship isn't wrong. But loving the idea as opposed to the person? That's wrong and it consistently leads to heartbreak.

Don't waste your singleness. You are where you are because God wants you to be there.

I'm still alive...

I've been MIA for a really long time now.  Sorry.  I'll attempt to give you some somewhat legit excuses...

My life has been extremely hectic of late.  I moved recently (can't say where or why, sorry) and haven't yet gotten settled.  School starts tomorrow, and since I changed schools, I'm not totally sure what to expect.  I think it's going to be pretty intense, but... I'm hoping it'll be reasonable so I can still have a life. 

Because of this sudden spike in activity, I've been thinking about priorities.  It can be so easy to forget what order our priorities should be in when we're involved in ten billion things that are all vying for our attention.  God may be a priority at first, but like most things that require faith, He often slips unnoticed to the back of our minds. 

For me, anyway, it isn't that I don't like spending time with God or that I am purposely placing God in a lesser position than He should occupy.  It's that there are so many other responsibilities and activities out there, and most of them are visible and tangible, so it's easier for me to remember them. 

This fact, however, doesn't make forgetting God any less wrong.  God will still be God, whether we remember Him or not.  He doesn't stop demanding our worship when we forget Him.  Everything around us in creation shows His handiwork.  This amazing God we worship is the Creator of the entire universe!  We're incredibly privileged to have the opportunity to worship Him, and unfortunately, it's all too easy to lose sight of that.  Creation may cry out for us to worship God, but we don't always have eyes to see or ears to hear. 

Thus, I want to encourage you all--and sternly remind myself--to not be too busy for God.  He is, after all, the One who created us and gave us life and health and freedom and joy... and, yes, suffering and sickness and persecution and sadness.  Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works all things for our good, even when we don't see it.  This is all the more reason never to forget Him.  He'll always, always care for us, no matter what we do, so when we forget Him, we are essentially throwing His love for us back in His face. 

This year, let's not forget God.  Every time we go outside and see His beautiful creation, let's glory in the fact that we worship the only God who could create something so astounding.  Every time we draw a breath, let's thank Him for creating oxygen so we can stay alive.  God's creation all but shouts His power and beauty.  Let's never cease to give Him praise for it.

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Psalm 19 (ESV)

1 The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.
2 Day to day pours out speech,
and night to night reveals knowledge.
3 There is no speech, nor are there words,
whose voice is not heard.
4 Their voice goes out through all the earth,
and their words to the end of the world.
In them he has set a tent for the sun,
5 which comes out like a bridegroom leaving his chamber,
and, like a strong man, runs its course with joy.
6 Its rising is from the end of the heavens,
and its circuit to the end of them,
and there is nothing hidden from its heat.

7 The law of the Lord is perfect,
reviving the soul;
the testimony of the Lord is sure,
making wise the simple;
8 the precepts of the Lord are right,
rejoicing the heart;
the commandment of the Lord is pure,
enlightening the eyes;
9 the fear of the Lord is clean,
enduring forever;
the rules of the Lord are true,
and righteous altogether.
10 More to be desired are they than gold,
even much fine gold;
sweeter also than honey
and drippings of the honeycomb.
11 Moreover, by them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.

12 Who can discern his errors?
Declare me innocent from hidden faults.
13 Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins;
let them not have dominion over me!
Then I shall be blameless,
and innocent of great transgression.

14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.