Don't Waste Your Singleness

A few years ago, John Piper wrote a book called Don't Waste Your Life. I've not read that book (though I've been told it was good), but the title's had me thinking recently.

I know a lot of you are young single people. I also know that many of you may not really like being single. Sure, you say you like it, but really, deep down inside, you want more. That's not a bad thing; God created us to want to be with someone. Adam was lonely in the perfect Garden of Eden. Don't think that this desire, in and of itself, is somehow sinful.

However, I've noticed that for a lot of teens and even adults, this desire becomes a more or less consuming passion. At that point, we have a serious problem. We fall in love with the idea of a relationship, which leads us down a dangerous road. We become so enamored with the thought of being with someone that all else seems to fade in comparison. He drinks to the point of drunkenness sometimes? Well, I can change him. She could singe the ears off a sailor with that language? Oh, it could be worse. We're in love, love covers all, nothing else matters.

I'm sorry, but that just doesn't cut it. Love doesn't work that way. Love suffers long, and is kind; it does not envy or boast and it's not proud or rude or self-seeking. It doesn't insist on its own way and it never holds a grudge or becomes irritable. It bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things and it never fails. (I Cor. 13:4-8a, paraphrased slightly)

Yes, I left something out. Love does not rejoice in sin, but rejoices in the truth. How can we rejoice in loving someone if they're snared in a lot of nasty sin? It just doesn't work. Yes, love is a feeling, but at a point it's also a rational choice. We have to be able to love someone more than just feeling an emotion about them. We have to be able to make the choice to take the high road and love them enough to just be their brother or sister. Sometimes a relationship is based on the idea of a relationship, which makes things unhealthy on both sides.

It's hard, I know. I'm human (and single), so I realize how difficult this is.

But how freeing! Brothers and sisters, don't waste your singleness. When you're single, you're comparatively very free. You don't have to please a boyfriend or girlfriend or fiance or what have you. You don't have to worry about any of that (though, as I've said, it's designed by God and is not a bad thing). You are free to serve God in any capacity.

I know a lot of you are still under the authority of your parents, so you're not 100% free to pack everything up and head off to Botswana or something (unless,of course, your parents decide to do that). You're still comparatively very free, though. Think about it for a minute. A relationship demands that you please the other person. If you're in a relationship and you're under your parents' authority, that's a lot of people to please. That shouldn't be your only motive, of course, but still, it's a pretty big factor in a lot of decisions. We're supposed to please our parents while we're under their authority because they were placed in authority by God. Add a relationship based on love of the idea of a relationship and not of the other person, and you have a big mess.

Again, a relationship isn't wrong. But loving the idea as opposed to the person? That's wrong and it consistently leads to heartbreak.

Don't waste your singleness. You are where you are because God wants you to be there.