Coram Deo

Hi you guys!

I wanted to take a few minutes to share what God has been laying on my heart while I was in Israel. I was being selfish and didn't want to post it, but our precious Paradox really strongly encouraged me to and so I hope it is a blessing to you! God is so faithful in how He gently pries my fingers off of everything I tend to hold onto, until I am left only with Him and am free to fly in His Spirit.

It is incredible how many demands the world places on the young women of our culture. We have to be virtually perfect physically: beautiful hair, skin, eyes, form, etc. We are expected to be sweet, even if it is a fake sweetness. We are asked to be youthful and athletic. We are expected to fulfill everyone and to be 10,000 places doing 20,000 things at once. Basically, as women in this culture, we are expected to be more than what is humanly possible. You would almost have to laugh at it except for the fact that women all over are buying these crazily high standards and their hearts are being shattered because of it. I was one of those women and probably worse than most until a couple of weeks ago.

When I was having a precious conversation with a couple of Christian friends and worshiping together, God totally rocked my world apart. We do not have to be perfect by the world's standards because that is actually not perfection that is just baloney! Seriously. What the Lord tells us is that we ARE beautiful. Every girl out there is absolutely drop dead gorgeous in her own way. We don't have to look like Carrie Underwood, Keira Knightley, Natalie Portman, or Scarlett Johansson to be lovely. In fact, God would not call them beautiful because they do not mirror Him.

It completely blew my mind apart to realize just how different God's standard of beauty is from the world's. Each one of His daughters is beautiful because we are His! We are beautiful because He has called us! And we are beautiful because He has purposed us to accomplish something only we can accomplish! Each girl that belongs to the Lord was created and designed to bring glory to God in her own special way, and God sings over each one of His little daughters saying "you are beautiful!" In Genesis 1:31, God "looked at all He had made, and behold, it was very good." God literally hit me between the eyes with realizing that every time I complain about who I am, I am arguing with the God of the universe because He declares us to be "very good" and "miraculously and perfectly made".

To every girl reading this, I just want to let you know two things. 1) The King of the Universe has made you exactly the way He wants you to be. The color of your hair, the color of your eyes, your build, your smile. Everything is just the way He wants it to be so please don't feel like you have to change a thing about yourself. 2) God didn't just create you beautiful for no reason. He created you the way you are because He has something no one but you can do.

This leads me to the other thing the Lord really taught me on my trip. I had no idea how much I am stuck on myself every minute of every day. Seriously, I am probably the most selfish and prideful creature I have ever met. I almost didn't just write that because I didn't want to admit it: that's how prideful I am! One day in Israel, God just broke my heart. He showed me how incredible He is. Period. And then He compared me to Him. I think that is probably one of the most painful lessons the Lord has ever shown me, but it was SO precious and freeing. The only reason I am on this planet is to bring glory to God. My selfish ambitions and desires are irrelevant compared to the ever encompassing beauty of Christ and what He has created me to do: to point others to Him. I honestly do not know how He wants me to do that right now, but I am so excited to see what His plans are. So I wanted to take this moment to ask you to all forgive me for being so selfish and incredibly stuck on myself. I want to be your servant, and I want to be there for you all in every way I can be! Thank you for your forgiveness.

The other day, I was considering Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." I was trying to figure out what that means and there was one idea that struck me. I wonder if possibly God causes your heart to desire what His plans are for you. Could it be that for those of us who follow Jesus, He makes our hearts long for the things that He has created us to accomplish so that we will go after them. If that is so, I don't want to be afraid to follow my heart. I encourage you to realize the depths of God's love for you, and the mind boggling plans He has for you! I know who follows this blog and I can honestly say that every single one of you are precious people. You all have such big hearts and I know God wants to do something miraculous with each and every one of you. I truly look up to each and every one you. Thank you for the godly examples you live before me! I do not deserve you, but I thank God for the blessing of putting you in my life.

Thank you, also, for taking the time to read the miracles God has been doing in my heart. His grace amazes me daily! I love you all, truly I do.

Simply By His Grace,
Hannah

A beautiful song I would really encourage you to listen to! Jeremy Camp captures beautifully what it is all about in this song! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi1uX7PpgXg&feature=related

I know I am making this blog post super long but I thought I would include a poem that speaks about this. I hope it encourages your hearts!

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Who is the most beautiful of all?

I am exhausted from this endless question

And my heart is poisoned by frustration.

How long will the battle rage?

And the world with me will be satisfied at what stage?

I am trapped to a graveyard of endless questions.

Every day, more and more tears fall.

I know I cannot be the most beautiful of all.

And this spiral makes me long for greater satisfactions.

My life resides in a world of gray

Gray where the colors of purpose are nay

I know not what tomorrow holds

And I care not for I am not bold.

In my coffin of self-intoxication

I long for a greater life-purpose than ME

I long to be free

To enjoy the beauty of glorification!

In the deathly silence, I hear Someone passing

I hear footsteps, but not those of a stranger

They are steps that for a long time I have been missing

But now remember their sound, though last time it was fainter.

But now the steps to my coffin draw near

And into the pitiful trap pear

A hand reaches out now, and I touch it.

But at the sight my heart jumps and fears it.

A hole in both hands...almost frightening but beautiful.

The eyes of the stranger smile and nod.

"I have the scars for you, because you are my daughter

And I died to have the chance to make you full.'

"If you will let me, I will take you from this place.

I have so much more for you than the world's expectations.

All you need do is take my hand; I will do the transformations.

For I am on your side; I am on your case!"

At last there is someone who cares and I remember now He is my Lord,

I must get out of this place so cold, making me so bored.

Mustering up my courage, I grasp the hand.

At its touch, my heart is overshadowed with peace and trust.

As I fly with Him I see the graveyard fade out of sight.

It's so freeing to be with him on this flight.

This great King cradles me in His arms of love,

And for the first time I have found someone I can trust.

His voice is soothing, so soft and yet strong.

He sings over me in songs of love.

I wonder how long I have known Him, and I ask Him above.

"A long time" He says, "But you have forgotten me in your wrong.'

"You were so focused on the world's standards

I slipped from your grasp a long time ago.

Since then I have been waiting and praying.

But you are forgiven, I love you and that want you to know."

Mirror, mirror on the wall.

Who is the most beautiful of all?

Hayden Panettiere with her beautiful eyes

Or my new King with His love that opens up new skies?

As we continue on our journey, He begins to tell me many things.

He has a plan for me so much greater than my imaginings!

He tells me that He wishes me to spread His fame.

And by my life, bring glory to His name.

What He tells me breaks my heart in the best sense.

For what seems the first time, I am told I am accepted.

I am told I am created for His specific purpose.

And I am told that I am beautiful!

I wonder how that can be for I am nothing.

I am confused and wondering.

But then, as we fly into the rising sun,

All the revelation clearly becomes one.

Just as the sun is not beautiful on its own

But made beautiful by the earth below

So I am not beautiful alone

But rather by a God whose glory I am created to show.

What my Maker has called good I cannot call evil

What the Lord has declared lovely I cannot deny

And so I am strengthened and become still

Realizing my perfect place in the great southern sky.

So I ask it once more

And now I know the answer in my core!

Mirror mirror on the wall

Who is the most beautiful of all?

The answer torments those of the world but His children can see

It is the King Himself! It is all the sons and daughters of the King

When they reflect the crimson shades of Him Who we sing

Whose blood has made us free, so free, so beautiful and free!